GOODBYE AGAIN
by SpaceLegend
Summary: The unthinkable happens.


**Goodbye Again**

**_Hi, my name is Eve and this is my first Space: 1999 fiction. I love the characters and was given the 1st season blueray DVDs for Christmas. I have Season 2 on videotape!_**

**_Thanks. _**

**_/_**

"I thought he would be here. In three minutes we will no longer be able to communicate with the planet." She whispered, "Why is he_ not_ here?"

"He is well aware, Sandra, of what is going on and he's in his quarters talking with her in private. Can you blame him?" Tony Verdeschi's tone was hard, hiding deep felt emotion, as he looked from the planet, to the analyst, then over to Maya, who hadn't been able to keep her eyes dry for days.

Tony wondered what he would do if he was ever placed in the same position as John Koenig. Not just once but twice in his life. The first time had been hell and had plagued their Commander for years and years. He had told both Tony and Helena about Tessa and Sam. He had lost two dear friends when the planet they were visiting had infected them with a sickness of unknown origins. They were left to die. There was nothing he or his Commander could do.

And this time …

He was strong but a man could only take so much. It occurred to Tony that John just might not make it through this one.

He had no ambition to be the new Commander of Moonbase Alpha.

**/**

They stared at one another for the longest time. What more could be said? They had reiterated how they felt about one another, had said how sorry they were that they could not finish out their lives together, and cursed the gods of the universe for their selfishness.

Maya had piped a private feed into his quarters so he could say goodbye in private, they could look at one another without the prying eyes of all the others in Command Center, watching and listening in on their anguish. She did it so they could cry and speak words of personal love that no others should ever hear.

"Please forgive me." He whispered yet again, his head resting in torment directly beside the monitor screen, "Helena …" his voice quivered and choked and he could barely take in a breath.

Two minutes remained to them.

"You could not have known." She told him, as she had days and even hours ago. "None of us knew."

"I should be there with you." He said, closing his eyes briefly, the pain too acute for words.

"You need to be on Alpha. It needs you and so do your people." She lifted a hand to her mouth, the patches of infection already showing red on her pale skin. Helena's attempts at bravery failed her for just a moment as she choked back a sob.

"_Oh my God_, Helena. What will I do without you?"

"You will live." She spoke gently, "You will take care of our daughter and tell her fond stories of her mother. Tell her how wise and courageous she was. And, most important, tell her how much you loved me …"

The tears fell and he could not stop them. "I do … _I do_."

One minute remained.

"I will tell her, Helena. I promise. But you have to promise me something too." He stopped his lower lip from trembling, "When it comes my time you will be waiting for me." There was no point in pretending any longer. They both knew she would be gone within a week. "Wherever you are in the afterlife, you will be waiting for me. Promise me."

"Yes, of course, John. I will be there, waiting." She spoke whimsically but with care, "But you will not be joining me for a long, long time. Right, John?"

He touched a corner of the screen, wishing he was touching her instead.

She did the same, partially blocking the view.

"Our daughter needs you more than ever before. Be there for her. I love you, John Koenig and I always will. Goodbye."

The transmission was fading.

"Helena! Don't go! Helena!"

She was away.

Helena and the three others in her landing party were departed from Alpha forever, victims of a deadly virus. They dared not return to Moonbase Alpha for fear of spreading the alien sickness.

Commander Koenig had given the order. He had no choice.

Now, he merely stared at the blank screen, knowing she was gone from him and he would never see her again.

_Only in their child._

The three year old was napping; unaware of what had happened. She rested in her nursery, attached to John and Helena's bedroom. They had moved from their two smaller rooms on Alpha shortly after their wedding, years ago.

When births were happily allowed on Alpha they had been pleased with the extra space and were anxious to be among the first to add to the population of the moonbase. It actually took them two years to conceive but John was happy to tell her during that time that they would just have to try and try until they got it right.

He spoke with a smile although he knew their lack of immediately conception concerned his wife. Yet on that day, when they discovered she was pregnant, there was such joy! Neither of them could come down from their cloud for weeks.

But as her pregnancy moved along, as she grew heavier and began to have dizzy spells, John found himself growing increasingly worried. They were an older couple attempting to have their first child. Perhaps it was not meant to be? And also, in trying, maybe they had put her life at risk. Yes, Helena was healthy and he wanted a child with her but not at the expense of the woman he loved dying on the birthing table.

Thank God, that was never an issue.

Yes, John thought, he would have to tell Sarah one day what happened to her mother and some-how he would need to do it without falling completely to pieces. But how will Sarah, when he finally got the courage to tell her, respond to the knowledge that he, her own father, was the man responsible for her mother's death?

Or maybe, if he was very lucky, he would die before it was necessary to explain it to her.

No. _No_. He would live. He had to. Not just for Sarah but for Alpha itself. He had promised Helena … and he would grieve for her, possibly never get over her absence, for the rest of his life. But he would go on. He would share in the legacy of Moonbase Alpha, secure in the knowledge that one day, far off in the future, he would one day return to the woman he treasured most.

And their daughter will have known them both.

**THE END**


End file.
